Q: When I see women wearing pants or pantsuits to wakes and funerals, I feel it's entirely inappropriate. Am I hopelessly out of date? What do you think?

A: I'll never forget the young woman I saw at a funeral in sweat pants. What was she thinking?

At a funeral I attended several weeks ago, one of the mourners was wearing a nice black pants suit. I was just startled enough to notice it, but I decided she looked fine. Though I guess I'd usually wear a dress myself.

What you want to remember is that funerals and weddings are ceremonial occasions -- the last two that haven't gone casual -- and your dress is meant to express your regard for the principals. People who underdress may not mean to insult the happy couple or the memory of the dear departed, but offense may nonetheless reasonably be taken. So dress seriously. It's well worth a little extra effort.

Patricia McLaughlin is a nationally syndicated fashion columnist.
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